June 28, 2019

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Christianity ✝️ | History 🏛️ | Permanently Moved 🔊

S2E13

The Reverend George Harvest – Rector of Thames Ditton

AKA

‘The most forgetful man in England’

 

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Permanently moved is a personal podcast 301 seconds in length, written and recorded in one hour by @thejaymo

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The Most Forgetful Man In England

For the next 5 minutes let me tell you about Reverend George Harvest – Rector of Thames Ditton AKA ‘The most forgetful man in england’ .

His whole life seems like a paragon of befuddled englishness. But in reality as Gems from a Fable Land makes clear: Though an acceptable preacher and a good scholar, he was offensive and sloven, and his failings made him often coarse and rude.  End quote. 

So I don’t think he was as endearing his biographers make him out to be.

Harvest Was born in to money in 1728 and went on to Graduate Oxford University. After which he prepared to take the holy orders. Already as a young man known by his “singular absent mindedness.“

After becoming a priest and with a secured yearly income of 300 pounds in 1700 monies – He was an extremely eligible bachelor. Very soon he Ingratiate himself with the daughter of his boss – the local bishop and soon they were to marry. 

With this accepted: a date was set, plans made, and the event was to be officiated by the bride’s father. 

The day arrived and amidst the frantic preparations of the bridal party, flowers arranged, and a grand spread being organised. Harvest awoke that morning and was struck by the deepest desire to catch Gudgens (a type of small fish) in the Thames. The weather being excellent, he packed his rod and lure and set off for a full days fishing.

It is not known exactly when Harvest realised his mistake, BUT when he had finally legged it to the church, he found his marriage and ANY prospect of any kind of promotion EVER in tatters. 

Soon after this farce, he found himself in thames ditton – a job (i should note that he only secured via the charity of an influential friend) he soon fell in love and set a date for his second attempt at marriage. The book A field Guide to the english clergy describe what happened next like this.. And trust me, You thought he would have learnt his lesson. 

“On the day in question when the carriage called to pick him up he was nowhere to be found. Several hours later, as harvest was midway though supper with some people he’d met on a morning stroll to Richmond he realised that he was meant to be doing something rather more important that day. He rushed back, only to find another sobbing bride and another furious father. 

Apparently informing the offended party that it had been ‘one of the pleasantest walks of my life”

As you can imagine this did nothing to engender any reconciliation and Harverst remained a bachelor for the rest of his life.

Due to his chronic lateness he was also known to shave on route to engagements whilst on the back of his horse. With one memorable incident of having done his ablutions discreetly down the road, His horse startled and rand down the lane. With the hapless, soapy and topless preist coming to a stop right outside a nobel ladies house with her family also standing outside to greet him. 

He was not known as a man who carried money. Instead apparently his pockets were always full of gingerbread, angleworms, tobacco, gunpower which he would carry around until his pockets were quote so corrupt and noisome as to render his company a perfect nuisance’.

The duchess of pembrokeshire one wrote that she turned enough raw dirt out of his coat pockets to fill a dust shovel.

Harvest was also known to misplace his horse at every opportunity. Indeed it’s said that not a single person in THREE counties was prepared to lend him a horse under any circumstances. 

There are not one but several recorded incidents of him misplacing the animal he was riding and returning to stables dragging a rein and bridle along the floor and could offer no explanation as to the status or location of the misplaced horse.

Other well known stories about this useless man included. One day he spies his friend and his friend’s wife in a room together and thought it would be funny to lock them in. 

Turning the key he slipped it in his pocket, and then joke slipped his mind. The prisoners were not released until well after nightfall.

Another time on a fine walk Harvest and his acquaintance had stopped to skim pebbles along the thames. On being asked the time, his friend looked on in horror as he proceeded to skim his golden pocket watch across the surface of the water and pocket the flat stone. He apparently didn’t realise his error until late in the day.

Once, forgetting it was a Sunday (naturally), he burst in on his shocked congregation with a loaded gun thinking them squatters or thieves. 

There are so many more redonkulous stories I don;t have time to recount them here in any detail. He once urinated mistakenly in the dark on one Lady Onslows leg whilst lecturing on the wonders of celestial mechanics, once hit Onslow round the head trying to kill a fly so hard that she temporarily became ‘deranged her faculties’.

And apparently once cured a parishioners chronic quinsy by laughter at his blundering about in the dark, falling down some stairs and destroying furniture and drapery. Oh, and he also got lost in Hrance whilst accompanying the Lord of Sandwich and was returned to the Inn he was staying in by soldiers thinking him an escaped english maniac. 

I haven’t even got to some of the cruel jokes played on this dysfunctional man by his parishioners. He died in August 1789.

I have two books that include his stories but I’ve just ordered the book ‘The Absent Man’ to learn more. 

Speak to y’all next week!